How does an Argentine kill himself?
He jumps off of his ego.
One of my students told me this one:
Three senators met at a UN conference and became friends after having a few meetings together; John, a Texas senator, Luigi from Italy and Miguel from Argentina. John really enjoyed the foreign company and invited the two men to visit his Texas ranch the next month.
Luigi and Miguel arrived to the Texas ranch house on a sunny spring day. They were treated to an authentic style barbeque and toured the lovely ranch, with it’s massive plantation style mansion and several acres of rolling pastures.
“John” Luigi asked, “How did you end up with such a lovely home on a senator’s salary? This ranch is very beautiful and so well maintained!”
“Well” John replied, “Did you see the big dam that we passed on the drive here? I sponsored that project, and well, lets just say that no one noticed when I took some of the funds for my own personal benefit.”
“Aahhhh I understand my friend.” Luigi winked. “Well you two must come see Naples in the fall and visit my home.”
The three men decided to have another house-party, this time at Luigi’s home in Italy. John and Miguel were very impressed with Luigi’s Italian estate, overlooking rolling hills with vineyards and a view of mount Pompeii. His villa was very impressive and contained an extensive collection of ancient Roman ruins.
“Luigi!” John exclaimed, “Your villa is simply incredible. My Texas ranch pales in comparison to this grandiosity. How on earth did you end up in this place?”
“Well John, I’m sure you remember that new state of the art freeway that we took to arrive here? Lets just say that our cabinet accountant is a personal friend of mine…”
“Aahhh I see how you work Che. Said Miguel. “Well my amigos, you must make a trip to lovely Argentina this February so that I can repay the favor of your warm hospitalities.”
John and Luigi arrived to Buenos Aires on a sunny February day. Miguel met them at the airport and they drove out into the provinces to Miguel’s estancia. Luigi and John could not believe their eyes. Miguel had 5000 acres of gorgeous property, with countless herds of cattle grazing on the rich land. He had not one but two large estancia mansions, fully staffed with servants, impeccably decorated with art and antiques and modern state of the art technologies. The property contained swimming pools, stables, polo fields and tennis courts. The Texas ranch and Italian villa could not compare to the sheer luxury of Miguel’s estancia.
“Miguel, your home is indescribably luxurious. How on earth do you own such a home on a senator’s salary in a third world country?” The men asked.
“Did you see any dams on our drive here?” Asked Miguel.
The men thought for a minute. “No, we didn’t.”
“And did you see any new freeways?”
“No,” The men answered, none.”
Miguel smiled with the egotistical charm that most Argentines possess.