The joy of teaching English is making fun of your students.
Now, usually, I try not to do this in front of them. But my students would tell you that I’ve laughed uncontrollably at their pronunciation …. more than once. I can’t help it. It’s funny.
So funny in fact that I started keeping a list. Maybe you will enjoy making fun of my students too. I’ve written up a little dictionary of their failed attempts at speaking English. Or perhaps it would be better to call it a manifestation of my failed attempt to teach it.
Womens: Noun. Plural of woman.
Student: “Yes it is normal to have a girlfriend or a woman.”
Me: “No, you don’t mean woman…what is the correct word?” (Trying to get the student to self correct and say ‘wife’.)
Student: (thinks carefully) “Oh yes – not woman – WOMENS! Because I have so many!”
Disconcentrate: Adj. Inability to concentrate.
Student: “I can’t work now, I feel very disconcentrate.”
Weirda: Noun. Feminine of weirdo.
Me: “Lucas, you are such a weirdo.”
Lucas: “No Vina, YOU are weirda!”
Medicaments: Noun. Medication.
Student: “I must to go to the pharmacia for to buy my medicaments.”
Joomy: Argentine pronunciation of ‘yummy’.
Lucas: “This is very joomy, even for be vegetables.”
True and Fake: True and False.
Student: “Is there a true and fake section on the test?”
Remodelating: Verb. To remodel.
Student: “My house is a mess because we are remodelating.”
Spoot: Verb. To spit.
Lucas: “It was vegetable so I spoot it out.”
Stucked on: Phrasel Verb. To be caught in something.
Student text message: I will be there in 10 minutes. I’m stucked on traffic.
(He later tried to convince me that this was a typo….)
Flaber: Verb. To flirt.
Lucas: “All the girls want to flaber with me. It’s not my fault to be handsome.”
Headcake: Noun. Headache.
Student: “I have a headcake.”
Teacher: “Headcakes are the worst.”
Brushteeth: Noun. Toothbrush.
Student: “Was lost my brushteeth!”